Wake up John Boy and go milk the cows, I have to drop Mary Ellen off at the airport.
This is what we in the airline business call “Princess Parking”.
Don't be so sensitive John Boy, when you fly out to the rodeo in San Francisco, you can have “Princess Parking” too!
Although airlines recommend arriving at the airport at least 2 hours prior to departure this can cramp your style depending on your departure airport. For hub city airports, 3 hours prior is a more comfortable time frame. You don't want to start your pleasant airline experience feeling rushed.
Another improvement in airline customer service is curb-side check-in. Depending on your destination you can get a boarding pass here and just leave your kitchen sink on the side walk. Done right, the next time you see your luggage it will be in Honolulu. Oops, I hope you weren't going to Boston.
If for some reason you are unable to check in curbside you will be directed inside to the ticket counter. Greeted by a long line? The start dreaming about that tropical drink waiting for you in Nassau, or that welcoming smile from friends or family at your destination.
For some reason airport ticket counter lines tend to move extremely slow. Someday, I promise I am going to find out what the agents are typing into their Dells. Is it possible she is checking everyone in front of you against “The No Fly List”, or is she just Face-Booking.
“Let’s see should I add her as my friend, I wonder if she’s on Farmville”.
If you have a problem with your travel arrangements remember the airline employees you come into contact with are not normally personally responsible for it. Unless of course, one of them is your ex!
What you talking about Willis?
As always the old adage “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar” still rings true and keeping this in mind may go a long way to a nice resolution of your problem. A smile or lame joke usually works wonders for me.
Treat others the way you would like to be treated and you may be surprised at the result. There should be nothing different about people's behavior at the airport or on the airplane but I have witnessed some strange things.
Recently, a passenger in front of hundreds of passengers used every combination of the “F” word and “B” word to berate one of our agents to the point of tears. Needless to say he is still having time out at the airport.
You have been nice and your problems are solved. Let’s head over to security. If you have purchased the “Snake Oil Sam” luggage package, you may have to haul them over to the separate checked bags security screening area.
Your biceps are looking good, you must work out.
Your turn to be screened comes next at the passenger security area. Remove your grill, all your bling, bling and put them in a tray along with your toiletries that have been packed in zip lock bags. Remember no more than 3 ounces of liquids or gel per container.
A WORD OF CAUTION, DO NOT PUT YOUR ITEMS ON THE SECURITY BELT UNTIL YOU ARE NEXT TO GO THROUGH THE METAL DETECTOR.
Even in a secure area, laptops, iPhones and other valuables have disappeared. Keep an eye on your belongings as you pass through security.
Want to step through security in style? After removing your shoes, grab a pair of those high fashion TSA slippers. John Boy is going to be very jealous of you!
Take no offense if an airport employee or flight crew jumps ahead of you in line. Unfortunately, most airports do not accommodate them with a separate security line although Orlando (MCO) and a few others are a nice exception.
In the security area, jokes or threats about flying are taken seriously and can really ruin your day. So save them for your appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
You did a nice job checking in and going through security. Why don't you grab an $8 cup of Airport Starbucks coffee and I will meet you at the gate.
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